40+ of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week (June 21, 2025)

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  • 01
    slime @slime_machine you think there are real eaters that just power through the ozempic 10:21 PM 6/11/25 3.9M Views . 409 11.6K 52K ☐ 1.7K
  • 02
    Kate Melvin @RealKateMelvin I just found out my husband thought White Claws were energy drinks and he's been drinking one on the way to work every day. 11:39 AM 6/16/25 1.4M Views 878 17963 29K 682 企
  • 03
    Armed Joy @ArmedJØy If you notice a foreign tourist in a Waffle House it is your American duty to start a fist fight to ensure they get the full experience. 伊藤麻希 Maki Itoh @maki_itoh. 1d I went to Waffle House for the first time to see a fight but nothing happened ② WAFFLE HOUSE 9401 MOBILE ORDERING STRAWA SHORTCA (3'-') na m
  • 04
    ཊལབསརངཧ @David_Rudnick If you tell a young person now that their goat is washed, they will fall into a deep despair. But if you told a 13th century serf that their goat is washed, they would experience such gratitude as to be almost overjoyed. This is how far we have fallen. 2:59 AM 6/11/25 977K Views • 39 17 5.7K 68K 2.9K
  • 05
    madison (top 0.1% on sudoku) @madsmotionless A guy asked for my number the other night and then called it and had me show him my phone as he was calling to make sure I gave him my actual number so I blocked it when he walked away like way to fumble in 30 seconds . 2:50 PM 6/15/25 2.3M Views 302 17 2.9K 116K ☐ 2.9K ↑
  • 06
    Simon Sarris @simonsarris Twenty minutes of Enya and his mood is unchanged CERES O Simon Sarris @simonsarris. 11h The snake that lives in my Mazda is giving me saucy looks this morning 9:25 AM 6/10/25 4.7M Views 400 6.1K 118K 5.7K 企
  • 07
    dr. z, esq. @zeynepmyenisey my brother just sprinted into my room yelling OPEN GOOGLE TRANSLATE and typed this in and i just cant believe it's real Hindi - detected English poopen sharten farten poopen sharten pharaten Translating पूपेण षर्ते फरतेन UNDO full terms and conditions . 6:15 PM 6/15/25 737K Views 222 171.2K G Open in Google Translate Feedback 22K ☐ 3.5K 企
  • 08
    Sarah Langs ❤ @SlangsOnSports I love baseball TORONTO BLUE JAYS BUSCH STADIUM | ST. LOUIS, MO 2:16 PM 6/11/25 • 2.7M Views 97 17 6.6K ST. LOUIS CARDINALS 123K ☐ 3.6K ↑
  • 09
    kc @amphichrome_ oh yes I will WARZ Andrea D. Huberwoman, Ph.D. @thege.... 1d Just a reminder that you're not going to get your dream "high value" man by posting pictures of your buns online. 5:21 PM 6/9/25 1.2M Views 644 t 2.1K 68K 1.3K ↑
  • 10
    sagey @btwnrevolutions hate this new google docs "ask gemini" feature. if i wanted to get misinformation from a gemini i'd talk to my mother 3:40 PM 6/14/25 2.9M Views 193 t 21K 218K 5.5K 企
  • 11
    John Halo @EpicMasterChief Computer stop pretending to be my girlfriend for a sec: What is the oil capacity of a 2003 Honda Accord. Ok resume being my girlfriend 1:40 PM 6/3/25 814K Views 11 12.5K 48K 1.5K 企
  • 12
    Jason Kelce @JasonKelce I'm not sure if I should be offended or flattered. BROAD Crossing Broad @CrossingBroad ⚫ 8h Eagles fans are nuts (tt/joethewizard55) 0:07 Ž
  • 13
    Natalie Wynn → @ContraPoints It sickens me to hear Spanish spoken on the streets of Los Angeles, San Diego, Palo Alto, San Francisco, Santa Ana, San Jose, Santa Barbara, San Bernardino, El Cerrito, La Mirada, San Luis Obispo 6:03 PM 6/10/25 3.7M Views • 3.1K 17 8.5K 149K ☐ 4.7K ↑
  • 14
    nic @dietxcokewhore my jaw is on the floor 3 inches went in 19 inches came out 241.8K 3:07 PM 6/10/25 830K Views 121 1.3K 241.8 38K ☐ 2.3K ↑
  • 15
    @mistuits The agony of thinking you're finished doing the dishes only to turn around and to your horror: the pot. 10:16 AM 6/9/25 2.7M Views Q 172 14K 175K ☐ 2.7K ↑
  • 16
    laura @slabdaddyWx the meteorologist who devised the windchill factor has d d. he was 86. but he felt like 75. • 6:33 PM 6/9/25 659K Views 83 17 668 17K 470
  • 17
    baby doxxer @youwouldntpost feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show 8:09 PM 6/15/25 1.6M Views 161 17 5.2K 44K ☐ 1.1K
  • 18
    Cats with pawerful aura @AuraWithCat I see no difference 11:31 PM 6/12/25 2.5M Views . 155 1 19K 144K ☐ 4.5K 企
  • 19
    birds arent real @dakleiner coke is like narcan for when you overdose on beers 4:01AM - 6/15/25 876K Views 47 17922 20K 925
  • 20
    charlie @gonegirlfriend this journal entry from when i was 13 is possessed Sometimes I think my cat i like ♡♡♡ girts ♡♡♡ Stre all stars but i don't i wanna watch Rupaul's base have calle jurassic park is lit 12:34 PM 6/11/25 1.2M Views 148 1 4.9K 107K ☐ 2.7K ↑
  • 21
    @twaniimals y'all think he liked it? MUSK 11:00 PM 6/14/25 8.7M Views 616 32K 383K 16K 企
  • 22
    Parody CEO ❤ @parody_ceo "Mom, how did we get so rich?" "Your father said 'thanks, nothing from my end' on thousands of important Zoom meetings" 5:12 PM 6/9/25.6M Views 243 1 6.7K 179K 8.3K ↑
  • 23
    Pop Pop Tingz @ThePopTingz. 1d Tugs Pope Leo XIV is a distant relative of Madonna. (Via New York Times). 492 175K 89K Ilil 9.2M ☐ 1 irene @ireneee27 We want a collab 10:59 AM 6/16/25 104K Views 9 1721 2.6K ☐ 17 ↑
  • 24
    amber @tanijrou HELLOAKDJSKDJ HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGOH + SPOILERS: in the end hiccup gives up toothless 103.4K and goes to san diego to study marine biology. 320 4:11 PM 6/16/25 2.1M Views 83 15K 237K ☐ 6K 企
  • 25
    emi (moth girl) @kvwviiju being a 5'8 woman trying to sit on a man's lap is humiliating i feel like one of those big a dogs that hasn't figured out it isn't a puppy anymore yet 12:07 PM 6/16/25 2.3M Views 390 1 5.7K 112K 4.8K ↑
  • 26
    Clau @clau_zn Remember when the Ayatollah was giving loading screen tips ⑭Khamenei.ir@khamenei_ir. 11/27/24 Increasing combat capabilities prevents the enemy from attacking. 1:55 PM · 6/16/25 · 1.3M Views 66 1 3.3K 47K ☐ 2.2K
  • 27
    alex fazio @alxfazio someone wasn't monitoring the situation Black Sea Lebanon Syria Amman Iraq Jordan Kuwa Tehran UAE129 تهران 4:45 PM 6/15/25.2M Views 309 1.3K Iran Trenistan Ungrade now Bishkek Бишкох Uzbekis an Kyrgyzstan Afghani Pakist 38K ☐ 1.8K 企
  • 28
    AlwaysAshley @AshleyAlready I came home from my trip to a suspiciously clean house. Found out my 18 year old had some friends over for a cookout while I was gone. Looked around at my clean house again and decided I didn't need to ask any questions about this cookout or who was there. 12:47 AM 6/17/25 10M Views . 656 14.7K 273K ☐ 8.1K
  • 29
    Smitty Werbenjagermanjenson @MarTheMortal This was how Nancy Reagan had Frank Sinatra kay @CINESLSHRS. 1d y'all think he's okay? GIF • 3:58 PM 6/17/25 6.4M Views 217 17 5K 80K ☐ 4.8K 企
  • 30
    Eren @erenfromtargets what the h l is going on in Boston? 2/5 Revolving door Tate McRae Femininomenon Chappell Roan mu I still think 'bout that night out in Boston to you 'Bout his girlfriend back in Boston I Hate Boston Reneé Rapp Secret of Tough Love Gracie Abrams How'd you make me hate Boston? 2:48 PM 6/15/25 5.9M Views . 217 17 2.5K I took a train to Boston and I wanted to cry 31K 1.7K
  • 31
    Zik✰ @_Gottalovezik First 2 drinks don't count if you have anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person. 4:13 PM 6/16/25 4.3M Views • 225 1 19K 179K ☐ 5.3K 企
  • 32
    LAUREN ASH @laurenashastro i think three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. you need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship and then you've basically experienced all dating has to offer 8:10 AM 6/18/25 679K Views 197 17 3.3K 32K 2.5K 企
  • 33
    trevy @chillextremist I don't think people realize how blown you have to get to achieve smithereens status 11:43 AM 6/18/25 274K Views 19 1.4K 17K 684
  • 34
    the rt. hon. girl douglas coupland @rebeccarightnow found the best library book annotation ever: Never wa Miss Nunn is going to take her holiday at Cheddar, and we nave been looking over some photographs of that district, taken by her brother.' From the table she reached a scrap-book, and Everard turned it over with interest. The views were evidently made by an amateur, but in general had no serious faults. Cheddar cliffs were represented in several aspects. Note to self: try this I had no idea
  • 35
    Blake T @NeilNevins "Black Eyed Peas, I think you have a real party song on your hands here that has the potential to stay with people forever. I just have one suggestion..." O Delta @Dobs407.23h hate when a song is so good but it lowkey has a slur 1:24 PM 6/17/25 1.8M Views 10 • • 1.3K 35K ☐ 2.5K
  • 36
    alexis @wsndonuts someone at my job mentioned severance and i was like "oh my god i love that show" and they said "no im about to get fired" 12:05 PM 6/17/25 2.9M Views 121 16.8K 151K 3.5K
  • 37
    kev mahserejian ❤ @RotoSurgeon imagine this post without the pictures included Max Markham Kalshi @MaxMarkham NFL. 1d Bears teammates Tyler Scott and Grady Jarrett got married last weekend. 8:11 PM 6/17/25 611K Views 13 1236 9.9K ☐ 67 ↑
  • 38
    big content guy @bigcontentguy pulling up with the capri extendo is crazy Dexerto @Dexerto 1d Capri-Sun released a long 15-inch juice pouch PRISU CAPRISUN 9:02 PM 6/17/25 1.7M Views 39 17 2.2K CAPRISUN!™ NO ARTIFICIAL COLORS OR FLAVORS 29K ☐ 435 企
  • 39
    highball @90shal chase @funnysmartguy12.1d i'd switch up on my closest friends for like $20 8:53 PM 6/17/25 1.2M Views 35 2.4K 50K 1.7K ↑
  • 40
    woof "pronouns" woofington @woofgonecrazy they're boiling him and added a cinnamon stick for flavour 12:58 AM 6/18/25 2.3M Views 178 1 16K 191K ☐ 6.5K ↑
  • 41
    Jamie @jambo_fett Before I married her, I took my missus on 8 dates and then we went to the cinema for our 9th. Our dates were dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, BATMAN 1:10 PM 6/17/25 1.5M Views 121 1 1.1K 32K 1.6K ↑

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